A Response to ‘Women Against Feminism.’

Imagine this:

The year is 2014. You are a white Western woman. You wake up in the morning in a comfortably sized house or flat. You have a full or part-time job that enables you to pay your rent or mortgage. You have been to school and maybe even college or university as well. You can read and write and count. You own a car or have a driver’s licence. You have enough money in your own bank account to feed and clothe yourself. You have access to the Internet. You can vote. You have a boyfriend or girlfriend of your choosing, who you can also marry if you want to, and raise a family with. You walk down the street wearing whatever you feel like wearing. You can go to bars and clubs and sleep with whomever you want.

Your world is full of freedom and possibility.

Then you pick up a newspaper or go online. You read about angry women ranting about sexism and inequality. You see phrases like ‘rape-culture’ and ‘slut-shaming.’ You furrow your brow and think to yourself: ‘What are they so angry about? There is no such thing as sexism anymore.’

Now imagine this:

The year is 2013. You are a 25 year-old Pakistani woman. A few months ago, you married the man you love. A man you choose for yourself. You are also pregnant with his child. You see your life stretching out before you, filled with hope and happiness. Suddenly, you and your husband are dragged away from each other. You are both beaten with bricks and batons. You can’t fight back. You can’t escape. No one comes to help you. Through your fading vision, you look up, and look into the eyes of one of your assailants: into the eyes of your father.

The year is 2013. You are a 23 year-old Indian woman. You are a physiotherapy student with a promising career ahead of you. You are sitting on a private bus travelling home alone on a warm December evening. You gaze out of the window as the buildings of New Dheli rush past you and feel content. Suddenly, a blunt force hits the back of your head and you fall to the floor of the bus. A group of strange men are standing over you. They bring the metal bar down on you again and again and again until all you can taste is the blood filling up your mouth. You pray that you will die soon. And you do, but not then. You are raped, beaten, and tortured over and over again. Death is slow and agonising.

The year is 2014. You are a 13 year-old girl from Niger. You no longer live there though. You are now living in the neighbouring country Nigeria, sitting alone in small room on a small bed in a small apartment high above the city of Kano. You are not allowed to leave. Your stomach is swollen from the unwanted life growing inside of it. You had no choice. The father is a man in his 40s. He is a businessman. He has bought you as his wife. You were a penniless, uneducated girl when he came for you. You don’t know of any life you could have had. Neither did your family: just one less mouth for them to feed. You still have the body of a child, and it’s straining under the pressure from the one inside of you. You feel like you’re about to be split in two. You don’t wonder if you will survive the birth. A part of you doesn’t want to.

These are fictionalised accounts of real events that have happened to real women living in our world today. They follow the past 250 years of women and men campaigning for women to be given equal rights to men to prevent these kinds of injustices and abuses on the grounds of gender taking place. Over the course of this time, campaigners – Feminists, both female and male – have been locked up, beaten, tortured, and even killed, in the pursuit of equality. They did this with pen and ink and print; they did this with their voices; they did this with their bodies; they did this with art and music; they did in courts of law and halls and houses of government that they fought be to allowed into.

They did this so that women would no longer been seen as property, livestock, breeding machines, sex objects, punching bags, or infantile morons. They did this not just for themselves, but also for their daughters, and their daughters, and their daughters for generations to come. They did this for women they would never meet – women who lived across countries, across vast oceans, across the entire globe, and even across time.

They did this so that women like me – a white Western woman – could attend school and university; to learn to read, write, and think critically; to gain a degree; to get a job and be paid an equal salary to a man in the same position; and to sit here with my own computer and type all of this.

Feminism is a movement for freedom, equality, choice, love, compassion, respect, solidarity, and education. We may argue, we may disagree, we may struggle to understand the choices and perspectives of others sometimes, but these core beliefs of the movement have never changed, and they never will.

That is why I am a Feminist.

If you feel that you have so far lived your life unaffected by even the mildest form of sexism – anything from feeling uncomfortable when a man catcalls you in the street, to feeling scared walking home alone at night in a secluded area – and are treated with love and respect by every man in your life, then to you I say: I’m glad for you. If you don’t think you need feminism, then that is a victory for the movement. You have fulfilled all those dreams that every suffragette being force-fed in prison and every ‘witch’ burnt at the stake dreamed you would one day.

But perhaps take a second to consider the life of the Pakistani woman who was beaten to death by her own family for marrying a man of her choosing. Or the life of the Indian woman who was raped, beaten, and murdered on a bus by a gang of men. Or the life of the little girl in Niger who was sold to a man more than twice her own age and forced to carry a baby that may kill her to deliver. Do they still need feminism?

And perhaps take a second to consider this too: Even in our liberal, Western world, why do women still only fill 24% of senior management jobs? Why are more women than men domestically abused or even killed every week at the hands of their male partner or ex-partner? Why is there still a pay gap (in the UK specifically) of 15% for women doing the same jobs and working the same hours as men?

And what about on a cultural level? Have you ever noticed how comedy panel shows usually only have one female panellist compared to 4-5 male ones? That almost every dieting product on the market is solely aimed at women? How a lot of newspapers and advertising campaigns will use a sexualised or pornographic image of a woman to sell news or products that have nothing to do with sex?

Or perhaps on a personal level: Do you choose to wear certain clothes because you want to or because you feel ‘unfeminine’ if you don’t? Do you choose to cover yourself up because you want to or because you feel ashamed or intimidated by a man looking at your body? Do you shave your legs and underarm hair because you want to or because you will look ‘ugly’ if you don’t? Did you parents dress you in pink as a baby because they liked the colour or because you were born a girl? Do you want to have children because you want to or because you are a woman?

When you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, do you see yourself through your own eyes, or through the eyes of the men that will look at you when you walk out the door?

The fact is, like it or not, you still live a world where gender matters. Where gender controls not just the entire course of your life – but the lives of women all over the world. Every second, a child will be born female in a country where she will persecuted for this random biological occurrence for the rest of her life. So before you hold up your anti-Feminist placard proudly and smile at your own sense of empowerment, think not what Feminism can do for you, but what it can do for that one girl. She needs someone to stand up for her. That someone could be you.

UPDATE: Click here to read my follow up to this article: ‘Equalism: The Feminist Alternative?’


This is a response to ‘Women Against Feminism’ groups on Tumblr and Facebook.

The stories of the women mentioned in this post were sourced from these sites:

http://feminist.org/blog/index.php/2014/05/29/pakistani-woman-stoned-to-death-for-marrying-a-man-of-her-own-choosing/

http://feminist.org/blog/index.php/2013/01/02/indias-tipping-point-death-of-rape-victim-sparks-global-outrage/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-27619295

Other facts and statistics were sourced from here:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/international-womens-day-2014-the-shocking-statistics-that-show-why-it-is-still-so-important-9177211.html

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  1. Bridgette

    Dear god, help this planet. There are so many stupid people, I can’t even get through the comments. Nice article though!

    Like

  2. Anyaa Karenn (@AnyaaKarenn)

    This is a really good article. It does remind us about the horrible event that are still happening. And of course we need to remember about them and do whatever we can to stop the cruelty and abuse once and for all and of course we honor the women who paved the way to our current freedom in the west.

    I believe that the “I don’t need feminism” type of movements are rooted in the lack of understanding of depth of understanding. As we all know changes / development are happening at a different pace in different countries. Some are still going through a lot earlier phases and are fighting for the basic rights (like being allowed to drive a car!). Certainly there is still a lot of work to be done on that front and … at the same time there are already some new movements taking it to the whole new level.

    I really like how succinctly Arianna Huffintgon in her recent book Thrive captures the essence of what I also believes is happening now. We have now moving onto “3rd women’s revolution”, where women are leading the changes in business and lifestyle and redefining success. “Our current notion of success, in which we drive ourselves into the ground, if not to the grave – in which working to the point of exhaustion and burning is considered a badge of honor – was put in place by men. But it is a model of success that it is not working for women, and really, it is not working for men either”

    In my opinion, in the essence of the 21st century aware feminism is expressed in modern women who are stepping up, speaking up and are the change advocates. They are involved, not afraid to speak their truth and actively do something and that something might not necessarily be ‘standing on the barricade’ and shouting out loud but applying measure adequate to our times (and I dare to say not being afraid to be feminine and truthful to themselves while doing so). They are not afraid to drive the revolutionary changes, which will be beneficial not only for women, but men, our families, health, how we do business and how we relate to each other, how we build communities and finally how we grow as humanity. And which direction. No more back seat! This is 3rd women’s revolution.

    Like

  3. Cindy Davis

    I want to ask a question.
    Why? Why are white Western women more free to live according to their desires? Why, out of all the cultures, nations in the world …do we (I’m a white American woman) have so much liberty compared to other women around the world? How did that happen?

    Ok. Can I tell you what I know? And Im a politic science major – so give me some cred.
    My answer is because we live in a Christian culture. And I dont want to start a huge argument, but Jesus treated women equal to men. And Christ taught love and kindness. Read John 8:4-8 and tell me what you think?

    Like

  4. David Mills

    Forgive my crude understand as a male I will never completely understand the female perspective.

    But it sounds like pulling the ladder up after you’ve climbed it (like politicians that took advantage of a state funded higher education system, then ending it whend the got power)

    You many be alright Jackline, many are still not and not just at far flung corders of the world be here today you have sisters that need support FGM, arranged marriage, spousal abuse & lingering inequality.

    So there is still a fight out there & if some of your sisters get a extreme in their rhetoric well that happens in every political movement there are always going to be those passionate people that see the world in monochrome 1/0, true/false, good/evil dare ist to say female/male. The trick is balance those voices with the moderation of a wide base of support, to bring in the spectrum of colour and hue, then monochromes they become you firebrands.

    All I am trying to say is “don’t throw baby out with the bath water”, I know it mis-readable metaphor sorry

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  5. Kim

    I think this abhorrent video sums up why feminism is very much needed still.

    Like

  6. Matthew

    Totally correct. I have no idea what these people saying we don’t need feminism are talking about. We ALL need feminism.

    Like

  7. ashleyphames

    Reblogged this on Bare Ash and commented:
    Everything about this is yes, yes, yes. We need Feminism. Would you like to argue that God is patriarchal? Well, this is what patriarchy really looks like, and no, my loving God will not stand for it.

    Like

  8. ashleyphames

    Sigh. Thank you.

    Like

  9. Yoann

    You can be feminist but please, choose yout target ! You can not consider some bad guy as representant of the men majority. The feminists have found a pretext to justify their fight against the opposit sex. Not always of course but evry rule has is exception …

    Like

  10. Cato Younger

    Wow, talk about “not getting it”; this author is planting a red herring. The “women against feminism” groups are NOT apathetic towards the plight of women in other countries, they are fighting against the ridiculous and extreme overreach of modern feminists in western countries, which the author even acknowledges with her “rape-culture” and “slut-shaming” comments.. I would be willing to bet that every one of the “women against feminism” members is an enthusiastic supporter of better treatment of women in the foreign countries named. They are probably even willing to denounce Sharia Law and Islamic mores that hold women down, something I’ve seen precious little of from leftist US feminists. This article is intellectually dishonest in the extreme.

    Like

  11. Justin Case

    This makes some sense, but the devil, as always, is in the details, and these details just don’t fit. The problem with most feminists in the developed world, is that they are not generally preaching to people in the third-world countries where they are needed the most, nor do they live there… They are here, shaming and guilting regular, hardworking men that make a little more money than they, drive a better car and have a better life than they, because of a collection of single events done to them in the past by some individuals. As far as commercials being targeted at women and the expectations of beauty and sexual objectification here at home? Get in line, feminists. Men are targeted for their own commercials, men are objectified as cash-cows and money objects, men are taught to internalize, and deal with ‘girly’ emotions on their own, and expected to act a certain way in society too. So what? The key difference is that if you live in a free world, no one can really force you to diet and dress a certain way. Can’t compare ad-targeting, cat-calling and occasional nepotism, things that every sex deals with and from which you’re free to walk away from and chose for yourself, to forced marriage, rape and torture in the third world and call it justification for feminism here.. I’ve been on a few dates with ‘feminist’ hypocrites, that preached all this to me and then some, all the while, expecting me to hold the door open for them and pay for dinner. Not that it really bothers me anymore than being attacked by a frustrated 2 year-old, but I’ve personally been scolded, discredited and shamed by enough feminists for moving ahead in life, or for simply having a penis, to see through all the bullshit of the movement here in the US.

    Like

  12. aimeexelizabeth

    The problem with the feminism movement is that it inherently creates a gap, a divide between men and women. What I’ve noticed that no matter what the social issue is (whether it be race, gender, social class, etc), it’s always “me vs. you” or “us vs. them”, because it’s human nature to need a sense of belonging and community. And without division and different group identities, this sense of belonging cannot exist. Also an individual’s personal identity is very much dependent upon the group(s) with which he/she identifies with.

    However, there will always be social injustice regardless if it’s found in an Indian woman’s life where she’s gang raped, or in a Western male’s life where he is subjected to the ideals and stereotypes that are bestowed upon him by the society in which he lives. Obviously the degree of suffering differs for everyone, but it’s social injustice nonetheless. This is why I believe that if one feels the need to champion a cause or fight for something, they should do it for everyone, not just the group to which they belong. Personally, I don’t want people to see me as an empowered, independent, strong woman, I want to be seen as an empowered, independent, strong person, a human being. That’s what I am. Obviously biologically I am differentiated from my counterpart, but I am extremely lucky to live in a culture that gender, race and social class can never bound me, unless I let myself to be bound.

    Therefore, I think the fighting needs to exist in fighting for this utopia. You can’t change people, how they think, or what they believe. However, you CAN change the society in which they live, so that their prejudices and personal opinions have no power over anyone else’s choices or beliefs.

    Like

  13. estepheavfmRobert St. Estephe

    No wings, just paws.

    Like

  14. markxneil

    “You see your life stretching out before you, filled with hope and happiness. Suddenly, you and your husband are dragged away from each other.”

    And this is the problem with feminism…. What happened to the man that was ALSO dragged away. Oh, that’s right. men don’t matter, only women. the fact the man was taken as well means nothing, this is purely an issue of women’s rights and protections. And in your very first example no less. The fact of the matter is, all the examples you posted seem to revolve around the fact women are victims of crime… and as we all know, crime never happens to men, so it must be a women’s issue right?

    Imagine this. it’s 2014. A few months back a local school was attacked by terrorists and all the boys were slaughtered, burned alive in their beds, gunned down or decapitated should they escape the burning death. The girls are all released without harm. Nobody cared, the world remained silent. A month later it all happened again, again the boys are slaughtered and the girl set free and again, the world didn’t care. Then the terrorist changed tactics and kidnapped the girls (no boys, again, they all got slaughtered and nobody cared), but the girls… oh the girls the world cared about. All over the world, people cried out for the girls. “The girls are still alive” they would say, ignoring the fact the boys were never given such an option. The world rallied for the girls… and then one day, those terrorists come to your village and you watch as, once again, the boys and men of your village are slaughtered while the girls are set free… and as they take the machete to your neck, you know, nobody is going to care. But it’ll be all right, cause you have male privilege.

    Like

    1. markxneil

      I’m disappointed to see that my views are still in moderation. I can only hope an “equality movement” such as feminism wouldn’t lose posts in moderation

      Like

  15. Dawn Hodge

    Hmmm I feel like the article is being kind of sneaky and subverting the argument — the “I don’t need feminism” stance is in response to feminisms aggressive and incessant focus on white Western culture (male gaze theory, objectification in the media) when a lot of women don’t see the point (probably because a lot of feminism is ideological and not based in practical reality and you know they are getting on quite fine) especially when feminism begins to critique women as well (e.g, some women WANT to be sexual. Dominatrix or submissive). Perhaps the reactionists should have written “I don’t need feminism, so don’t focus on me, focus on those who need it.” Which is true as mentioned by Tristan and Monica’s posts!!!

    Like

  16. lea

    The reason I am not a feminist is that feminism offers no solutions. It leaves me deeply depressed about my own situation and all the women I cannot help. I do what I can to make changes where I can. It’s not much. We need a new word. One that is not etymologically aligned with sexism, racism, communism, classism…just saying. Perhaps we can deconstruct masculinism? Instead of railing against the patriarchy, start showing men how they are screwing themselves? We need strategies beyond just complaining and bemoaning ‘ain’t it awful.’ Yes it is. It sucks. I deal with it everyday working in construction. I want to make a positive difference. Whining and wallowing doesn’t work. rage only hurts me.

    Like

  17. Alex

    Here is the REAL point that need to be made. Think how lucky you are to live in the west where you don’t have to put up with all the REAL crimes and horrors, be lucky and thankful instead of moaning and cursing about how you dont have it just how you want in the west and being so ungrateful with your feminist nonsense! This is not feminism in its modern form. it’s women trying to destroy the lives of men with ridiculous historic “sex assault” allegations! The only reason the media (owned by men) give these people the time of day in the media is because it suits their warped and twisted agenda of complete repression and control of society and men in particular! You are just pawns being used to forward a horrible agenda!

    Like

  18. Sorcha Raven

    this is a great article, and highlights some key points. however, the need for feminism in north america is little compared to the need in other countries. we should focus our efforts globally, in countries that need it. yes, there may be more men in management positions, or CEO positions, but that does not mean it is an issue of gender inequality…it could be that men want to be in those positions more than women do. women want to have children because its one of the most basic biological impulses; on a biological lever, our only purpose in life is to reproduce…just like every other species on the planet. we have passed the legal barriers with feminism, such as voting rights and educational rights, now the only hurtle we have left is the social issues, the people who blame victims and so on…however we will never fully overcome this obstacle because we cannot change everyone’s mind. feminists are almost becoming the problem when they hate men for being men, hate straight people for being straight and so on, its putting just as much hate into the world as the people oppressing feminism. we do not need retribution for the events that occurred in the past.

    Like

  19. Sorcha Raven

    this is a great article, and highlights some key points. however, the need for feminism in north america is little compared to the need in other countries. we should focus our efforts globally, in countries that need it. yes, there may be more men in management positions, or CEO positions, but that does not mean it is an issue of gender inequality…it could be that men want to be in those positions more than women do. women want to have children because its one of the most basic biological impulses; on a biological lever, our only purpose in life is to reproduce…just like every other species on the planet. we have passed the legal barriers with feminism, such as voting rights and educational rights, now the only hurtle we have left is the social issues, the people who blame victims and so on…however we will never fully overcome this obstacle because we cannot change everyone’s mind. we should also look at the fact that men are also sexualized in advertising, and the is a social expectation as to what a man is supposed to be. men also get less rights in court when it come to their children. women also rape, and abuse the same way men do, however we do not hear about it and do not fight against it with the same power. women encourage rape culture as well, not just men. feminists are almost becoming the problem when they hate men for being men, hate straight people for being straight and so on, its putting just as much hate into the world as the people oppressing feminism. we do not need retribution for the events that occurred in the past.

    Like

  20. Daniel

    Ok, you are a feminist because women in third world countries have it bad. In that case, I am a men’s rights activist because men in third world countries have it bad.

    Like

  21. dysphoriangrey

    To the women who are commenting here who are STILL in some small way not overly worried about the cause of feminism because you have reached some level of comfort here in North America and you see it as none of your business to support the cause for those around the world. Human rights is a slippery slope and it is a chain reaction. There are the women here to consider, then the women next door in a nearby nation. Then there is the right to free speech and political dissent. The rights of people of various races and these things all kind of go hand in hand. This is something taught to us by atrocities of the past, specifically from WWII comes this pearl of wisdom that I think is vital to all human rights movements: http://www.ushmm.org/wlc/en/article.php?ModuleId=10007392

    Like

  22. Chris

    I ask the question, why feminism? You act like women are the only gender that suffer opression from “the powers that be”.

    In a world where men are still the primary victims of war, still carry the brunt of workplace deaths, still have their genitals mutilated (circumcision) far more than women and are used as child soldiers, do you not think it would be more productive to campaign for everyone suffering under the boot heel of poverty and opression?

    Ignoring one gender to campaign on behalf of the other is ensuring you will never make any headway on the issues you fight against.

    Like

  23. chris

    Great article but when you say things like how one can marry or “sleep with whomever you want.” you should add ‘with consent’ – just sayin’

    Like

  24. Loul4

    Surely it is a humanitarian horror that these things are still happening? Bringing feminism into this distracts from the fact that no human being should be treated this way? Yes woman are physically weaker but that doesn’t mean we should just be calling on other women in this fight! It should be all decent people that fight this cause, I think bringing feminism into this distracts from the real problem, it’s about human rights overall?

    Like

  25. William

    all my life i have been judged based on my gender, being male, as being part of the problem by feminists, not by them all, but by some. even though i am for equality for all, in all cases, i don’t label it feminism, its humanism.

    feminism is divisive, at least in many cases, whereas humanism is all encompassing and entirely compassionate, always. the feminist movement can only go so far before it must be replaced by a group that sees womens and mens rights, and issues, as being equal in importance, and as being two sides of the same coin.

    we need people to not feel as though they are being attacked for their gender, but rather their actions. modern feminists all to often treat all men as being guilty of sexism and misogyny until proven innocent, and its this very sentiment that turns good hearted kind people away from feminism. you can all say feminism is about equal rights, and to an extent thats its goal, but all too often it just reverses the issue, using “positive discrimination”. we should all be treated with the same level of respect and compassion, regardless of our gender. this all being said, the male ego does lead to much of this day and ages violence, however, mans self image is a result of societies sexualization and exploitation of women and sexuality in general. its not men or women, its corporations, its the media, and its greed. its the easiest way to tap into the psyche of the biggest demographic in the world, and the most constant force in nature, the desire/instinct to reproduce. men are made to think they have to behave a certain way, fit a certain mold, or else we wont be accepted as even being a man at all. women are treated the same way, but if men didn’t think there was only one way to a “real man” then many of them wouldn’t push gender roles onto women as well. the reverse is true as well of course, there are gender roles that women force onto men, rather then men forcing gender roles on women, or other men. as another person pointed out, its very hard to ever come out and say you want to be a stay-at-home dad, most women don’t even know how to reply to that, and its rarely greeted with the same level of acceptance or understanding as when a women says she wants to be a stay at home mother. men are expected to work, work, and work some more. we don’t have a real choice in the matter, and most feminists don’t actually care about this inequality, despite the fact men have faced this problem just as long as women have faced the inverse of it.

    i know just as many open minded, caring, kind hearted, compassionate men as i do women…although i don’t know as many abusive, manipulative and controlling women as i do men, however its close. the difference in numbers is made up by those who are utterly indifferent, those who don’t promote discrimination, but don’t all the while do nothing to stop it when it rears its ugly head.

    all in all, the feminist movement has a purpose, and its far more positive then it is negative, however there is a tipping point, one where this kind of movement has the potential to overlook its first goal, EQUALITY, and turn into the very sort of engine for discrimination they spent so much time fighting against.

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  26. Corneilius Crowley

    For me feminism means accepting that the lived experience is meaningful, and that the lived experience of women in this culture reveals much about the inequity, the lack of caring empathy, the dysfunctional power relationships,the trauma dynamics which play out and which dominate all our lives. Men and women alike.

    Feminism is not about stating that we are equal, we should have equal rights – it’s about empathy which precedes and super-cedes all concepts of rights (which are in the end, sets of privileges granted by the powerful to the vulnerable, and are subject to whim), it’s about the willingness to engage with difference, the difference between male and female and how these differences work in synergy as part of how life itself is nurtured; it’s about whether or not we see ourselves as nurturant people nurturing our lives, our communities, our environment or individuals seeking fortune, climbing a ladder, making our way in a hierarchical structure.

    It’s about the difference between internalising a system value and articulating an emergent value. We create meaning. We are not at our best when we are indoctrinated, and sexism is at heart a matter of indoctrination, a matter of unresolved trauma patterns.

    Feminism is about getting to the heart of all this and resolving it.

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    1. Traverse Davies

      And that is part of why I will never be a feminist. “Lived Experience” is not necessarily meaningful. My early life was made much worse due to feminism and poverty, my “lived experience” doesn’t match the one you imagine when you think straight white male… I grew up in a community where being gay was overwhelmingly seen as positive (I don’t think it is positive or negative for the record, I think it’s just who some people are and that it has no impact on whether they are good or bad people), where being female was celebrated (I have no issue with women, and think that they deserve every single opportunity that a man does, but I don’t celebrate someone based on their genitalia or chromosome makeup, I celebrate people based on what they do in life), and where being male was often reviled. Does that mean that straight white men don’t have privilege in society? Does my personal “lived experience” trump statistics? Empathy is great, but it has to be driven by facts as well. If you take my life as the model then men need programs and women don’t, but that would be a stupid thing to do… how about instead we actually look at what programs are needed? How about we treat people as people when dealing with them individually and treat social programs as responding to statistics? Of course, if we do that suddenly there are gaps that need to be filled in what men get… the idea that one gender would be most of the victims of violent crime, most of the homeless population, have worse health care outcomes, and not get funded for any of those things seems insane when you look at it.

      Like

  27. caramc

    Beautifully stated. I actually just came from another blog where I read that the person didn’t “believe in” feminism and I couldn’t understand what that meant. Perhaps she will read this blog post and understand.

    Like

  28. Preston

    Honestly… The concept of feminism isnt stupid… However, the name alone is pretty damn stupid. Think about it, feminists? that kind of implies that y’all think you’re better. You could be an “sexism equality group” I may feel differently because of the feminists that I have known, who are all over bearing and quick to react and defend their position without yelling and screaming. I come from a rich white family and im a guy. I treat all women with respect, but some of the things that “feminists” complain about are just downright stupid. If a woman “cat-called” at me I would laugh smile and wave. I have known many feminists who wish to play sports with guys. You know, because we are all equal. In that case I say let there be no proffesional mens only or womens only sports. Let them all play together. The guys are going to crush the girls dreams then because MOST women can’t compete athletically with the guys. There are physical differences between men and women. It is not very convenient for a company to hire a pregnant women because you have to account for maternity leave. Businesses are about making money. If a guy was going to be hired but said, wait! I’m going to take a 6 month break for (insert valid reason here) he still would not be hired because you have to make money. Thats just my 2 cents. I have plenty of respect for “feminists” who can articulately present non bullshit points, and I am capable of having insightful conversations with them. In the end I typically walk away having learned something with a slightly different view and they do as well. What I do not have respect for is authors that use 3 stories that are just stupid. Those kinds of thing happen to all sorts of men and women. They are more common in women because they have a vagina and men are biologically attracted to it. However, guys get the living shit beat out of them all the time as well. I do not have the facts to back it up, but I would be willing to bet that there is a very small difference in the amount of deaths between men and women due to getting the shit beat out of them.

    Like

  29. haileybec

    Reblogged this on haileyrebecca and commented:
    Feminism does not contradict biblical teaching. Fight for what’s right guys!

    Like

  30. MGTOW-man

    No always means no…except when said to feminism.

    Women are completely capable of combat (dragging a 250lb man zigzag fashion, under fire, to safety) but even when they have the immaturity and stupidity to hit men when his only bad behavior was being honest but she doesn’t want to hear, those same EQUAL women must not be hit.

    Anyone who can’t see the hypocrisy, double standards, privilege, irrationality, hatred, obliviousness, pity-mongering, exaggerating, truth bending, feelings-skewed perspectives, selfishness, tamtrums, wanting their way ALL the time, and all the other “incredibly fair” stuff oozing from the feminists must have their heads up their own….

    Like

  31. eportnia

    Well, my response will be twofold. I personally am NOT against feminism, I applaud its many achievements from which many of us have benefited. I am equally horrified by the screaming mistreatment of women in those places where they are considered property or sex objects with no rights. I am enraged by domestic violence and rape. I hate male chauvinism. I appreciate that not that long ago women in this country had nowhere near the opportunities that they enjoy today. Is some movement needed to stop the violence against women, to help the women around the world to be exactly where they want to be (THEY being the key word though), to promote equal rights under law for both genders? Yes. Yes. However that being said, “feminism” has become too vague of a term and too many women (and men) today misinterpret the mission and the meaning of the movement. Those people mistakenly think feminism is about women playing victim; or demonizing men; or discriminating against men; or teaching women to be men; or ridiculing and condemning women who want to be stay-home moms; or seeing nothing except evil plots of male-dominated society in the facts that women are a minority in executive positions and that a woman in seemingly “same” position (statistics never perfectly control for differences) makes less money than a man; or naively imposing western principles on women around the world while disregarding the millennia of differences in cultural values; or grossly confusing significance of gender with unequal treatment of gender. Those people misunderstand what feminism is all about. Don’t they? However, there must be a good reason for this misunderstanding. There is a reason for everything. PERHAPS IT IS TIME for feminism to come forth and demonstrate, convincingly, clearly, and once and for all, how it is NOT about any of the above misinterpretations. Then – and only then – those women who are against feminism will apologize and rest their case. Unfortunately, I don’t think the article under discussion does a fair job in this direction… it too confuses gender significance with gender inequality. “The fact is, like it or not, you still live a world where gender matters. Where gender controls not just the entire course of your life – but the lives of women all over the world.” – so the article concludes. In fact, gender matters. Actually I want it to matter. To start with, I want a separate women’s bathroom. I also want flowers for my wedding anniversary (wonder if my husband is reading this). I want a regular pap smear. I want compliments from men (no I don’t expect to be raped in a perverted and violent manner after every compliment. I actually trust that men are somewhat better than animals. Am I a naive target?). I want to wear dresses. My armpits are shaved (most of the time) and I look after my weight partly because I don’t want to be found unattractive. (I want men to be attractive, too, by the way – and last I checked men have no problem trying to look attractive to women, they don’t see it as sexist and humiliating.) I have a female voice, a female shape, a female body. I am a woman and it matters to me, and I actually would like, if possible, to be seen as a woman despite my Ph.D. Please. I’ll even put my makeup on. You see, being treated as a woman has NOTHING to do with being mistreated as a woman – and confusing the two is one of the most troubling delusions that causes many problems for feminism itself. So as much as I applaud the pure, well-meaning, and selfless actions of feminists, those “anti-feminism” women do have a point.

    Like

  32. Hana

    I’m by no means “anti-feminist”, nor do I agree with that movement. There is a real need for equality across the world, especially throughout Eastern countries. But I wouldn’t call myself a feminist either. If not for the simple reason, that in doing so I would feel like a hypocrite; call me old fashioned, but I want a door held open for me and chairs to be pulled out, I like that my partner walks on the road side of the pavement and that he feels a duty to keep me safe. I like looking good for my chap, and I like that he wants to be the bread winner. Some people might argue that these things have nothing to do with feminism, but from what little I’ve experienced of it, It’s an all or nothing deal. I am a woman and I want to be treated as such, I will take the slightly lower pay day if It means these gentlemen like actions remain. Obviously I’m only speaking with regards to Western culture here, but as a woman, at this point in my life, and this might change with experience, I am only 20, I’m happy in the society I live in today.

    Like

  33. mike

    How people can be so short sighted is worrying

    Like

  34. McKenna

    I agreed with this entire article until the last but. There will always be a difference in gender. No matter what you do. I was born a woman. My body can grow other humans in it. A man’s cannot. It is our anatomical build. Our bodies crave different nutrients based on gender. We are different people then men. So yes we will always be different. I am who I am because I want to be that way, because I am built that way. I want children that look like me, created from my DNA and because my husband can’t do it, I will. I want to. I dress in baggy clothes most of the time and cover up my hourglass figure because I want to. I am today who I am because I want to be me. Bad things, like the ones listed, happen to men as well. There are bad people everywhere targeting both genders. We aren’t being degraded because we are woman but because those who are degrading us (potentially other women) are pigs. I’m not for our against feminism. I am for being you no matter what. Those sources can only affect you if you let them.

    Like

  35. Melissa Chong

    Excellent argument! In a similar debate, I challenged the rhetoric ‘Leave if you don’t like it’ as a metaphorical comparison between disagreement with local politics/policies and sexism. The idea is we might migrate if we don’t like a certain country, but we can’t migrate from the planet when globally one gender is subjugated. The point is that we are here, and we need to make it worth staying for ourselves and generations beyond.

    Like

  36. Arly

    Powerful read. And some of these comments are just so ignorant they can’t even see it. Blinded, clouded by stupidity. For all those who say this article does nothing for women in other countries. Helllllooo! Nothing in life will ever change without first talking about it! So for damn sure talking about these issues help! That’s why people in their countries are doing things about it. Rape in India for example has been a norm for ages! But it took media coverage and people TALKING about it to finally point it out and beg for change! I don’t think you have to be Sherlock Holmes to get that. Great article! Feminism for all! Love and respect for all. May the ignorant souls awaken soon.

    Like

  37. macho

    Sorry but no can do. Men have a natural purpose in life as do women. I will always despise feminism.

    Like

    1. Susan

      Of course they do, is anyone really questioning that?

      Like

  38. momfawn

    I have been a feminist since before I understood the word, granddaughter of a suffragette, NOW member over 40 years ago, and these stories STILL take my breath away. Thank you for a powerful post. We still need feminism. My 4 and 8 year old granddaughters need feminism. The world still has a long way to go. – Fawn

    Like

  39. Laura-london

    Even in countries like Australia and the UK (both places I have lived), sexism still exists and needs to be fought. Why on earth are women in countries like this (and doubtless others) paid less than a man with exactly the same skills, background and experience, just because she is a woman?

    We should be embracing the sisterhood the world over and fighting to adjust the inequality wherever it takes place.

    Like

  40. Hoplotist

    This would be a valid argument if Western feminism really focused on women in Pakistan, Niger and India. But they don’t.

    In reality, Western feminists have, for the most part, focused on frivolity such as the long-debunked myth of the wage gap or made-up notions of “rape culture” (ignoring the fact that a tiny minority of men – not an entire culture – commit rape). Or, to draw examples from the article, whether or not there are enough women on the comedy panel on TV.

    OH MY GOD THE HORROR!

    Yet they are relatively silent on genital mutilation, the burkah, gender-selective abortion, or Purdah (google it).

    They wallow in victimhood, ignoring the fact that modern Western women are safer, richer and freer than any women in any culture in all of recorded history. Meanwhile, it’s still men who are injured or killed at work more, commit suicide more, become homeless more, are jailed more, are given harsher sentences for the same crimes, killed in war more frequently, denied access to their children more frequently, and (if you count the prison population) sexually assaulted more frequently.

    So yeah – modern Western feminism is needed. But not by modern Western women anymore. You don’t see too many Pakistani, Nigerian or Indian women holding signs saying they don’t need feminism, because they do need it. But the Western women holding these signs are making a VERY valid point, and modern feminists should pay attention lest they become irrelevant – fast.

    Like

  41. Kate Umphrey

    As far back as 1971 there was produced by these feminists a document called “The Declaration of Feminism.” It says this, “The end of the institution of marriage is necessary condition for the liberation of women. Therefore it is important for us to encourage women to leave their husbands and not live individually with men. All of history must be rewritten in terms of oppression of women. We must go back to ancient female religions like witchcraft.” I’ll say more about that.

    By the way, this is largely lesbian led and that’s why they have that attitude toward men. Annie Laurie Gaylor writing in the Humanist, and I’ve given you several quotes in the last month or so from the Humanist, writing in the Humanist July/August 1988 has an article called “Feminist Salvation.” This is what she says, and this effects the elite thinkers at the university level and it gets taught to the students in the system, so it works its way into the culture. She says this, “Let’s forget about the mythical Jesus,” again, it never stops with a sociology, it always has to ascend to a theology because you’ve got to get God out of the picture so you can make the Bible a non-issue. “Let’s forget about the mythical Jesus and look for encouragement, solace, and inspiration from real women. Two thousand years of patriarchal rule under the shadow of the cross ought to be enough to turn women toward the feminist salvation of the world,” end quote. Get rid of Jesus, the real salvation of the world is not in Him, it is in feminism.

    Dr. Mary Jo Bain, the feminist and assistant professor of education at Wellesley College, elite women’s college, associate director of the school’s center for research on women…there’s a deadly think tank, says this, “In order to raise children with equality, we must take them away from families and communally raise them.” We’ve got to get them away from any male influence.

    Margaret Sanger founder of Planned Parenthood, leading the parade in abortion, said, “The most merciful thing a large family can do to one of its infant members is kill it.”

    Now the reason we have to take these ideas seriously is because they constitute the fortress, they constitute the speculations, the ideologies, the proud intellectualism that is erected in this culture and has a formidable place. They are influencing law. They are influencing the courts. They have a massive influence on education. All you have to do is realize that this is how the university system thinks, that’s where the school teachers are all trained, and you see how it filters all the way down through the educational system. They’re creating laws at the highest level in our land, laws we have to live by, laws that are obliterating all sense of historic culture. They’re being taught through every avenue to our young people, and even Christians, as I said, are falling under the spell of the feminists.

    Like

  42. icyflame101

    Reblogged this on My Life at IIT Kharagpur and commented:
    Feminism is a journey. One which would probably never end.

    Woman against feminism, would simply mean the train gets lighter. The seats become empty. The rows become corridors.

    The train can’t stop. It must not, not for anyone or anything.

    This is the post that would open your eye to the stupidity of shunning s movement that we may or may not need, but certainly, women around the world need.

    Like

  43. ignatz2000

    I think your missing the criticism. You can be for equal rights a not call yourself a feminist. You can believe, as many of these women do that much current feminist rhetoric has entangled opinions about what constitutes equality and the best way to achieve it as if it was a universal truth. You can see in many of these articles a condescending tone as if “oh you poor dears your just misinformed and if you where really smart you would agree with us” Why don’t you acknowledge your sisters points and feelings as valid and move forward from there.

    Like

  44. Jocelyn

    Feminism Is a Western privilege that woman in Western countries enjoy. This will NEVER happen throughout the world because MEN will NOT go along with equal rights for both sexes. We now have islamic/sharia law followers in Western countries that do NOT want feminism because their teachings teach against such thinking and living. Both men and woman of islam/sharia law stand against this western inlightened thought of equality for the sexes. India and China also turn their backs on the rich, white, western Feminist fight for equality for the sexes. Men of the world will NOT agree to this way of living. It is a movement that must have men on board for it to work.

    Like

  45. shmiggen

    The only problem I have with this is that I can remember a time when personal issues were not considered political, and that is the sad legacy of feminism. It’s left women utterly confused. Do you see how pernicious feminism is and how it works? It manipulates pain. “People” are divided into pieces of pie – Pakistani, Indian, and White. It’s like a caste system with varying degrees of oppression, a hierarchy. And that’s the tragedy of it all.

    Not long ago, a mere few decades ago, feminism was about equality. Now its essentialism. This can only end tragically.

    Like

  46. Catmari

    RE the first paragraph: “You are a white Western woman. …. You walk down the street wearing whatever you feel like wearing. You can go to bars and clubs and sleep with whomever you want.”

    The picture painted of “white western women” is far too rosy. Being one myself, and having endured years of sexual harrassment in both the US and several European countries, I recommend the author read through some of the early postings on Twitter under #YesAllWomen (https://twitter.com/search?q=%23YesAllWomen&src=typd), or just type #YesAllWomen in Google and check out the results. The references on Wikipedia’s entry for #YesAllWomen are also a good source.

    Like

  47. appslotus

    Reblogged this on Apps Lotus's Blog.

    Like

  48. Joni

    Well yes and no. I agree 70% with you but this idea to fight against modern western culture where gender matters through feminism is ridiculous.

    The pay-gap exists there is no denying that but does that have something to do with your gender or individual choices is more or less debatable. I’m in a job where older male with more working experience and with the same education makes 2600€/month and I get 3000+€/month. We both were unemployed before we took the job however he was a bit more desperate to end his unemployment than I was and agreed to less money. And there is also the fact that some job areas as being a waiter (which is female dominated branch) pay less than being a construction worker (a male dominant branch). That’s just how markets have been developed and it has nothing to do with gender. And as for the management sexual separation is definitely maybe due sexism. But if you consider the fact that a random male with good working background and excellent education has probably less than 1% chance to make it on top of big enterprise I would say gender doesn’t matter. How you are elected for such a position all due your contacts and lobbying. Once best bet would probably be to get oneself in parliament and use corruption for personal gains. And if it so happens that your predecessor is sexist that’s just bad luck (if bad luck really exist) or your stupidity to not concern that fact before hand (when you are playing “the game” in that level sexism would probably not be the issue after all that back stabbing etc.)

    And as it goes for dressing your baby in a pink or blue depending your gender I think females have a lot more “freedom” here because a girl can wear pink or blue (at least in my country) but a boy cant wear pink. If one would dress a boy in pink and in a skirt for school he would get bullied and beat up for the rest of his time in that school for wearing that for one day in his life. When it comes up to me and my dressing I definitely dress the way which is considered masculine due to expectation of females and males. I have to shave my face not to be viewed as ugly or a bum etc. And when I was over weight I definitely felt ashamed and not attractive (it shoved in my way of dressing, self-esteem etc even though I even wast that over weight) but know that I’m fit and what do you know I get a lot of sexual attention from females because I’m considered more masculine. If that not sexist then what is?

    When walking trough parks late at night as a female and running the risk of being mugged and raped when males only have the risk of being mugged has nothing to do feminism. It’s because these shady characters loitering in there in late hours are probably young males. There has always been an issue between young males integrating into society. The problem lies deep withing western society and the pressure that is put on young males to succeed in it. Its a statistically more likely for a young female immigrant to succeed in a western country that it is for a young male. Referring for the percent of domestic violence experienced by females is just stupid. When male is in the receiving end of that he never reports it except few exceptions. I been beaten by my girlfriends numerous times and I have got cuts, bruises and occasional black eyes. I never reported it and never even told my friends about it because its considered less masculine and embarrassing. Sometimes in our society it’s even ok for a female to hit a man. It’s never ok for anyone to hit anyone. Violence is never ok. So maybe instead of focusing to stop certain type of violence instead focusing to stop people getting physical with each other and judging violence all together would be the way to go.

    So as you said the western female has thing pretty damn good but of course it could always be better but it would always be for the males too.

    Ps. I’m not against feminism it has done great things in short time and I’m all for equality. But sometimes I feel that people are splitting hairs or use it for wrong purposes.

    I apologize for spelling errors English is not my native language and I’m dyslectic plus this font is a absolute nightmare for me. (took me an hour to write this)

    Like

  49. Elna Steyn

    I quote from this article: “They did this so that women like me – a white Western woman – could attend school and university; to learn to read, write, and think critically; to gain a degree; to get a job and be paid an equal salary to a man in the same position; and to sit here with my own computer and type all of this”

    I do NOT agree with this. They did NOT do it so that I can have a University education. These women were treated like that because of the culture and believes of Islam. Don’t be oblivious!

    Like

  50. J

    The year is 2014. You and 200 of your classmates have just been burned alive for being male. Nobody even knows you died.

    The year is 2014. You and 200 classmates are kidnapped to be used as child soldiers. No one knows.

    The year is 2014. You and every other man and boy are ordered to line up in your village. You and THOUSANDS of others are systematically exterminated. The women and girls are allowed to live. Nobody knows.

    The year is 2014. You live in America. You are being beaten by your girlfriend. You lock yourself in the bathroom and through blood smeared vision manage to dial 911 and call for help. When the police arrive you are arrested because the law requires males be arrested at any domestic violence call.

    The year is 2014. You live in America. You are being beaten and abused by your girlfriend. You wait until she is gone and try to call for help. Every single shelter and helpline you call either accuses you of abusing her, or refuses to help you because you are male.

    The year is 2014. You live in America. You are raped, like thousands upon thousands of other men. You have nowhere to go, no shelter will take you. You are not even legally recognized as a rape victim, your crime is counted as “other assault” because of the federal definition of rape.

    The year is 2014. You live in America. You can’t live with it all anymore. Like 3,000 other young men you choose to end your own life. You were only 10 years old, the year suicide becomes the second leading non-accidental cause of death for males.

    I hear your response already. “Feminism means equality” “Feminism helps men too”.

    It was a feminist that wrote the definition of rape which excludes male victims. It was feminists who lobbied for the laws that force the police to arrest male victims. It was feminists who bankrupted men’s shelters, committed felonies to prevent anyone from even talking about suicide and silence male abuse victims, and so much more…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erin_Pizzey
    Feminists threaten to kill woman for saying men need abuse shelters.


    Feminists prevent a meeting about male suicide.

    Qui-Gon-Jinn_d89416e8


    Feminists stage mock murders to scare men.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valerie_Solanas#The_shooting
    Feminist attacks male cartoonist and is hailed a hero of feminism.


    Feminists shut down forum for battered husbands.

    http://www.now.org/nnt/03-97/father.html
    Propaganda campaign against male fathers wanting custody.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-10760239
    Feminists wish to slander accused names before convicted.

    http://www.standard.co.uk/news/womens-prisons-should-all-close-within-a-decade-7240659.html
    Try to shut down female prisons.

    http://www.firstpost.com/india/rape-law-amendment-where-are-the-cases-of-sexual-violence-against-men-384227.html
    Create rape laws that exclude female rapists.

    http://www.jpost.com/Israel/Womens-groups-Cancel-law-charging-women-with-rape
    Make it impossible to charge women with rape.

    http://web.archive.org/web/20070708213232/http://michnow.org/jointcustody507.htm
    Feminists against equal custody.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/molloy-program-moms-serve-sentences-home-article-1.1337817
    Female felons should serve home sentences.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/7995844/Judges-told-be-more-lenient-to-women-criminals.html
    Told judges to be lenient on women.

    Click to access V74-gender-symmetry-with-gramham-Kevan-Method%208-.pdf

    Feminists cover up female domestic violence.

    http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/016/659dkrod.asp
    Feminists don’t want the gov to help unemployed men.

    Feminists launch campaigns to help girls only while boys are doing worse in every facet of education.

    http://www.ageofconsent.com/comments/numberthirtysix.htm
    Males who were raped as a child still have to pay child support.

    Women should have the right to put a child up for adoption before the father gets custody.

    Misrepresenting the “Preponderance of the Evidence” Standard on Campus Sexual Assault Hearings


    Feminists against beyond reasonable doubt when it’s male rapists.

    http://judgybitch.com/2014/01/22/five-rights-feminism-delivered-for-women-but-doesnt-want-to-share-with-anyone-else/
    5 rights feminism ignores for men.


    Feminists blame males for their abuse.

    Click to access kelly.pdf

    The primary aggressor clause where only men get charged with abuse.

    http://the-white-feather-movement-worldwarone.wikispaces.com/
    Shame men into going to war.

    http://www.genderratic.com/p/4207/its-shit-like-this-feminist-professor-apparently-argues-child-sexual-abuse-does-not-exist/
    Feminists dismiss female child rapists.

    Click to access costello.pdf

    Feminists say men can’t talk about domestic abuse.

    Feminists mock a man who has his dick cut off.

    feminists attack church.

    Feminists transphobia

    http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/NewDelhi/only-men-can-be-booked-for-rape/Article1-1021702.aspx
    Feminists say Men can’t be raped.

    http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2009/nov/29/barbara-ellen-madeleine-martin-comment
    Feminists defend female raping minor.

    http://dontneedfeminism.tumblr.com/post/81918411593/you-do-realize-that-8-year-olds-cannot-give-any-kind-of
    Feminist defends why fucking an 8 year old boy isn’t rape.

    Click to access SAVE-VAWA-Discriminates-Against-Males.pdf

    Feminists primary aggressor clause discriminates against males.

    Click to access kelly.pdf

    Feminists cover up female domestic abuse stats.

    Woman smashing bottle in mans face in public. Nobody gives a fuck.

    http://jezebel.com/294383/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have
    Jezebel mocks men who are abused.

    Feminists make sure the gov doesn’t spend money on male shelters or male research.

    Female on male abuse in public is at best ignored, and at worst celebrated.

    Public stops a man from abusing a woman in public, same crowd laughs when the roles are reversed.

    https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/geo-safe-house
    No funding for male shelter.

    http://news.nationalpost.com/2013/04/28/earl-silverman-who-ran-mens-safe-house-dies-in-apparent-suicide/
    Founder of Canadas only male shelter for abuse forced to close due to lack of funding before committing suicide.

    Like