A Response to ‘Women Against Feminism.’

Imagine this:

The year is 2014. You are a white Western woman. You wake up in the morning in a comfortably sized house or flat. You have a full or part-time job that enables you to pay your rent or mortgage. You have been to school and maybe even college or university as well. You can read and write and count. You own a car or have a driver’s licence. You have enough money in your own bank account to feed and clothe yourself. You have access to the Internet. You can vote. You have a boyfriend or girlfriend of your choosing, who you can also marry if you want to, and raise a family with. You walk down the street wearing whatever you feel like wearing. You can go to bars and clubs and sleep with whomever you want.

Your world is full of freedom and possibility.

Then you pick up a newspaper or go online. You read about angry women ranting about sexism and inequality. You see phrases like ‘rape-culture’ and ‘slut-shaming.’ You furrow your brow and think to yourself: ‘What are they so angry about? There is no such thing as sexism anymore.’

Now imagine this:

The year is 2013. You are a 25 year-old Pakistani woman. A few months ago, you married the man you love. A man you choose for yourself. You are also pregnant with his child. You see your life stretching out before you, filled with hope and happiness. Suddenly, you and your husband are dragged away from each other. You are both beaten with bricks and batons. You can’t fight back. You can’t escape. No one comes to help you. Through your fading vision, you look up, and look into the eyes of one of your assailants: into the eyes of your father.

The year is 2013. You are a 23 year-old Indian woman. You are a physiotherapy student with a promising career ahead of you. You are sitting on a private bus travelling home alone on a warm December evening. You gaze out of the window as the buildings of New Dheli rush past you and feel content. Suddenly, a blunt force hits the back of your head and you fall to the floor of the bus. A group of strange men are standing over you. They bring the metal bar down on you again and again and again until all you can taste is the blood filling up your mouth. You pray that you will die soon. And you do, but not then. You are raped, beaten, and tortured over and over again. Death is slow and agonising.

The year is 2014. You are a 13 year-old girl from Niger. You no longer live there though. You are now living in the neighbouring country Nigeria, sitting alone in small room on a small bed in a small apartment high above the city of Kano. You are not allowed to leave. Your stomach is swollen from the unwanted life growing inside of it. You had no choice. The father is a man in his 40s. He is a businessman. He has bought you as his wife. You were a penniless, uneducated girl when he came for you. You don’t know of any life you could have had. Neither did your family: just one less mouth for them to feed. You still have the body of a child, and it’s straining under the pressure from the one inside of you. You feel like you’re about to be split in two. You don’t wonder if you will survive the birth. A part of you doesn’t want to.

These are fictionalised accounts of real events that have happened to real women living in our world today. They follow the past 250 years of women and men campaigning for women to be given equal rights to men to prevent these kinds of injustices and abuses on the grounds of gender taking place. Over the course of this time, campaigners – Feminists, both female and male – have been locked up, beaten, tortured, and even killed, in the pursuit of equality. They did this with pen and ink and print; they did this with their voices; they did this with their bodies; they did this with art and music; they did in courts of law and halls and houses of government that they fought be to allowed into.

They did this so that women would no longer been seen as property, livestock, breeding machines, sex objects, punching bags, or infantile morons. They did this not just for themselves, but also for their daughters, and their daughters, and their daughters for generations to come. They did this for women they would never meet – women who lived across countries, across vast oceans, across the entire globe, and even across time.

They did this so that women like me – a white Western woman – could attend school and university; to learn to read, write, and think critically; to gain a degree; to get a job and be paid an equal salary to a man in the same position; and to sit here with my own computer and type all of this.

Feminism is a movement for freedom, equality, choice, love, compassion, respect, solidarity, and education. We may argue, we may disagree, we may struggle to understand the choices and perspectives of others sometimes, but these core beliefs of the movement have never changed, and they never will.

That is why I am a Feminist.

If you feel that you have so far lived your life unaffected by even the mildest form of sexism – anything from feeling uncomfortable when a man catcalls you in the street, to feeling scared walking home alone at night in a secluded area – and are treated with love and respect by every man in your life, then to you I say: I’m glad for you. If you don’t think you need feminism, then that is a victory for the movement. You have fulfilled all those dreams that every suffragette being force-fed in prison and every ‘witch’ burnt at the stake dreamed you would one day.

But perhaps take a second to consider the life of the Pakistani woman who was beaten to death by her own family for marrying a man of her choosing. Or the life of the Indian woman who was raped, beaten, and murdered on a bus by a gang of men. Or the life of the little girl in Niger who was sold to a man more than twice her own age and forced to carry a baby that may kill her to deliver. Do they still need feminism?

And perhaps take a second to consider this too: Even in our liberal, Western world, why do women still only fill 24% of senior management jobs? Why are more women than men domestically abused or even killed every week at the hands of their male partner or ex-partner? Why is there still a pay gap (in the UK specifically) of 15% for women doing the same jobs and working the same hours as men?

And what about on a cultural level? Have you ever noticed how comedy panel shows usually only have one female panellist compared to 4-5 male ones? That almost every dieting product on the market is solely aimed at women? How a lot of newspapers and advertising campaigns will use a sexualised or pornographic image of a woman to sell news or products that have nothing to do with sex?

Or perhaps on a personal level: Do you choose to wear certain clothes because you want to or because you feel ‘unfeminine’ if you don’t? Do you choose to cover yourself up because you want to or because you feel ashamed or intimidated by a man looking at your body? Do you shave your legs and underarm hair because you want to or because you will look ‘ugly’ if you don’t? Did you parents dress you in pink as a baby because they liked the colour or because you were born a girl? Do you want to have children because you want to or because you are a woman?

When you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, do you see yourself through your own eyes, or through the eyes of the men that will look at you when you walk out the door?

The fact is, like it or not, you still live a world where gender matters. Where gender controls not just the entire course of your life – but the lives of women all over the world. Every second, a child will be born female in a country where she will persecuted for this random biological occurrence for the rest of her life. So before you hold up your anti-Feminist placard proudly and smile at your own sense of empowerment, think not what Feminism can do for you, but what it can do for that one girl. She needs someone to stand up for her. That someone could be you.

UPDATE: Click here to read my follow up to this article: ‘Equalism: The Feminist Alternative?’


This is a response to ‘Women Against Feminism’ groups on Tumblr and Facebook.

The stories of the women mentioned in this post were sourced from these sites:

http://feminist.org/blog/index.php/2014/05/29/pakistani-woman-stoned-to-death-for-marrying-a-man-of-her-own-choosing/

http://feminist.org/blog/index.php/2013/01/02/indias-tipping-point-death-of-rape-victim-sparks-global-outrage/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-27619295

Other facts and statistics were sourced from here:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/international-womens-day-2014-the-shocking-statistics-that-show-why-it-is-still-so-important-9177211.html

Leave a comment

Comments (

1408

)

  1. Wendy

    It seems to me that the biggest problem women have are men. Not all men, but a legacy from a time when men treated women (and slaves) as slaves and possessions purely to pump up their pathetic egos and feed their desire for power over all things to make themselves feel strong and clever. Perhaps this is a hormone imbalance that needs to adjust with evolution or maybe they just enjoy being this way, but a lot of men are still like this. They could have identity problems or lack of self esteem or simply have been indoctrinated to believe they are right – I think out answer lies in education – and to all mothers and teachers everywhere, who want an equal society – this means you.

    Like

  2. ashaw13

    Reblogged this on Who the Blog is Alice? and commented:
    Such a brilliant article

    Like

  3. chris smith

    HAHA, all lies. Equality is Equality, the very definition “feminism” defeats the whole purpose. In Christian nation man beating woman = crime, discrimination of any kind = crime. The real agenda behind feminism was to breakup the family. Make women who stay at home feel inferior, like raising kids is not a real “job” and to encourage abortion.

    Like

  4. Chris

    This article sums up why the WAF reaction is understandable, if – of course – disappointing http://www.journal-online.co.uk/article/11690-women_against_feminism_unfortunate_product_the_intimidating_hostile_side_modern

    Like

  5. Ermilia

    Great post!

    Like

  6. @hell4heather

    Such a well researched, well thought out and important article. Feminism, I believe, should be taught in schools everywhere. No room in the curriculum? Perhaps replace things we all really need like ‘metalwork’ & ‘algebra’. Brilliant post

    Like

  7. Philip

    You are all just talking – the core truth to all these and other statements and arguments about the issue is this: people should learn not to negotiate with other life by force, especially violent force, especially intentional and hurtful physically violent force, because all that is worth the while in uniquely human terms is elsewhere than in the flesh, yet could be chained and twisted by means of it.

    Ask any academic lawyer, these are the fundamentals of most penal codes, and the law attempts to keep the peace by curbing peace-disturbing behaviour

    Ask a social worker, they try to untwist the twisted in their family setup.

    Ask a psychologist, they try to untwist the twisted individual.

    Now be honest and admit that all the -isms you stand for are distortions of positive thought, and want to enforce everything and untwist everybody by some level of power, mostly tending towards brute force, or at least the thought of it.

    we all have to tend this garden, and deal with the weeds, the flowers and the rest in a sensible manner, in case we have any hope of a better universe for humanity.

    Like

  8. Glauce Fleury

    Ah, if everyone could see with your eyes. Thanks for this amazing reflection. You touched me with your post. Hopefully anti-feminists will stop to think about all this.

    Like

  9. Glauce Fleury

    Reblogged this on Glauce Fleury and commented:
    My note for female and male readers:
    Before proudly saying we’re anti-feminists or criticizing feminists, let’s think about what feminism can do for women who’ve been treated with disrespect or violence all over the world for generations. Women who read this: if we know what freedom of choice is or if we haven’t faced sexism (only because we were born women), good for us. But this isn’t real in many, many cultures, countries and regions. Let’s keep fighting for other women who — unlike us — aren’t free to make their own decisions and still face violence and discrimination. PLEASE, read this post that I’m reblogging. Thank you! 🙂

    Like

    1. Glauce Fleury

      I deleted the reblogged post because it showed up on the wrong blog. Tried to fix it, but it seems I can’t reblog it again (even having deleted the first one). I apologize for the confusion.

      Like

  10. fayepatton

    Great article – thank you.

    Like

  11. Baris Dogruoglu

    I loved how in Pakistani both the woman and the man gets beaten almost to death, but both in this blog and in the link to the actual event there is nothing said of the man.

    Guess you are not victimized unless you carry both X’s in you chromosome.

    Which pretty much sums up the whole “Feminism” ideal. Yay women, kill the rest.

    If you actually wanted equality between both sexes there is something for that called “Humanism”. But then you’d have to accept the fact that the man that gets beaten with metal objects because he married the woman he loved is also a victim.

    And pretty much anyone living in any miserable conditions are also victims regardless of their gender and need help of the privileged world.

    Like

  12. ddfalvo

    Beautifully written. Eloquent and power points made, and understood. Thank you, Tonia, for tackling an oft misunderstood political topic with such grace that you have started a wildfire–a good one. ❤

    Like

  13. fohfuu

    I’m still not feminist. You know why? Because feminists have denied rights to men. Not in the silly, “feminising” way that some people talk about it. No, I’m talking about how in the UK, men cannot be raped by women. It’s impossible. I’m talking about how there are close to 0 rape crisis centres for men, and how feminists killed the dog of the man trying to set them up in the 20th century. I’m talking about how any man that works with children is constantly under suspicion. I’m talking about how men are pedophiles and women “have sex with teenagers”. I’m talking about how male genital mutilation is called circumcision. I’m talking about how women are excelling at every level of education while more and more men fall behind.
    Maybe it’s *you* who should take a look at the situation.

    Like

  14. skibbidy

    great, more fictional stories with no examples and sources. they’d be dandy if feminism was an ideology that only helped these women in countries that have lots of poverty and religious fundy nuts. but it’s not is it, 95% of feminism is raging about straight white males and that doesn’t help these women. the stories you told are the reason i’m an anti-theist, because this shit does happen, but it’s not because straight white male devil. the sooner you people realise this, the sooner we can fix it.

    Like

  15. skibbidy

    great, more fictional stories with no examples and sources. they’d be dandy if feminism was an ideology that only helped these women in countries that have lots of poverty and religious fundy nuts. but it’s not is it, 95% of feminism is raging about straight white males and that doesn’t help these women. the stories you told are the reason i’m an anti-theist, because this shit does happen, but it’s not because straight white male devil. the sooner you people realise this, the sooner we can fix it.

    Like

  16. Yes, I am feminist! | That's all about

    […] read the post A Response to ‘Women Against Feminism,’ published on the […]

    Like

  17. Michelle

    Monica you are a psycho.

    Like

  18. Catmari

    10 sexist scenarios that “white western women” face at work

    Being ignored, mistaken for the tea lady or branded a ‘maternity risk’ … the following common experiences reported to the Guardian’s Everyday Sexism project are painfully familiar to working women who have a full or part-time job that enables them to pay their rent or mortgage, who live in a comfortably sized house or flat and have an education commensurate with their job, who most likely have enough money in their own bank account to feed and clothe themselves and who have access to the Internet., amongst the other advantages cited above enjoyed by white women in western countries.

    http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/jul/30/10-sexist-scenarios-women-deal-work-ignored-maternity-risk-everyday-sexism?CMP=twt_gu

    Like

  19. Jo

    You could add in “do you say you don’t need Feminism because you fear being a feminist will make you unattractive to men… or will lead to negative stereotypes that you do not want to be labelled with despite wanting equality.” Or “has it been so ingrained in you that you are a possession that you wouldn’t know what to do on your own and fear leaving dependency?”

    Like

  20. Amanda

    Feminism is the reason any woman commenting on this feed even had the ability to do so without her man’s permission. Don’t kid yourselves. This conversation needs to happen and keep happening. I believe in equality for all, and everyone experiences that inequality of life at times. But the fact is that in nearly every walk of life, the woman has experienced the brunt of sexism. It wasn’t ask that long ago we weren’t even important enough to vote.

    Like

  21. M

    Reblogged this on myletterstomydaughter.com and commented:
    Dear Q,
    You are very lucky to have been born in a free country where women can practice freedom of speech, the freedom to live and to love. Be grateful for this and remember how being a woman is amazing… Embrace it… It is powerful… But do not forget the unfortunate girls born in other parts of the world where being born a girl is curse for their families. Therefore do not take your freedom for granted and remember to try to make a difference..
    Love,
    Mama

    Like

  22. Fisking “A Response to Women Against Feminism” | Men's Word

    […] and well-written post I was sent, which accurately articulates the main pro-feminism arguments. However, it also illustrates the critical, fundamental flaw in feminist thinking: that […]

    Like

  23. bmWalk

    I agree with the main points, but women shaving because they don’t wanna be ugly? What about women working out because they don’t want to be fat? That is bull and not sexism, or guys wouldn’t need to shave to be attractive, trying to be attractive to the opposite sex is not sexism as that happens equally both ways and is nature as if you don’t then humans won’t procreate, and wearing revealing clothesand then going out and complaining when people look? If you don’t want people to look at certain parts of you cover them up, just like if you don’t want to be called a slut don’t take guys home from the bar and sleep with them, out in public everyone has the right to look at whatever is in public, but to clarify skimpy clothes does NOT justify rape.

    Like

  24. Christian

    I am not a American, but a German. You have to find out what kind of world we live in, in order to understand, how the “feminist” achievements were established.

    In the West (USA, Western, Northern and Central Europe) you always have and had capitalism. Capitalism was the result of a pressure to get to a better and more efficient way to produce goods. In many countries, capitalism lead to a minor anti-capitalism through government regulation and capitalism itself. A family of the 19th century had a very much less productivity than a family today. The family itself decided always that kind of option, what was more important in order to survive and develop their family.

    So commonly the man had to use its higher productivity to earn real money. The woman had to use her time to do inefficient housework, which was very important for the family, but nobody else besides the children would have done. Over the years of that time, just very few woman had the chance, to train themselves for higher education and real work because they were rich. During that time, many things which are connected to “real work”, if it was at a university or at a enterprise, where autonomous as they are today. So those people who worked there chose their option they liked most, when they need new people. Usually, they did not want to have a woman around, because they would not be free to tattle over women in general.

    Productivity increased through capitalism, so woman were used more and more in the working world. At first, things like the vacuum cleaner were developed and after a few years many people can purchase such a thing. At second, women could be relieved and used for other things. So the overall investment of family budget or state budget or corporate budget increased a lot for woman in order to get more out of every person. Until today you see this progress. Even in a capitalistic feudal order or war times it was a consistent development many of the European left, communists and socialist, denied and used their tactics to occupy developments fully.

    Most of those feminist movements are either supported financially by those who try hard to annex that capitalistic progress for their own agenda or socialists. For example: People, who gain things from corrupt lobbying, often support movements which are good looking. This lobbying leads to negative regulation for small or national enterprises, but is on the other good for international capitalists who often do tax flight or only think of their own money no matter what the rest has to pay for such a behaviour because it is partly legal. Socialist argue, that capitalism and division of work is bad, so only socialist (feminist) woman are good, the rest must be conquered.

    Today, woman are free not because of screaming and protesting, but because of the fact, that they are more useful in working in the capitalist world than they are at home and the loss of socialism against capitalism. Therefore, women are now capable and also required to make their own decisions that have far-reaching consequences.

    Woman A takes to most capitalistic way in getting a high paying job through a very hard training, e.g. a technical degree in Germany, where she is welcomed, if she likes cars, hunting and sports or fits there as a type. She than has to do other things with her husband to be a good mother than regular woman, because she has more money but less time.

    Woman B takes a weaker job and weaker training, has more time to develop a family. Woman C and D do the same. Woman B develops a family, gets children, to develop a family business in order to get a revenue out of it, when she gets older. Woman C does the opposite, holds a very good position of herself, and falls to the buttom because she dreamed and their promised way of life failed – her blood gets extinct. Woman D fails as a mother, has had a little bit more money or fun during her best days, and then also falls to the buttom. C and D are getting more and more in the US, because they believed in propaganda or thought they were happy doing crappy things.

    If you compare this to pre-capitalist societies and female immigration from those countries, you see major differences, because of different status of civilization. This is why the often heard criticism of muslim societies against White women is mainly from the socialist spirit, where as criticism from Whites often comes from the position of serious thought.

    The opposite of feminism is misogyny, not other forms of the term “feminism” or just regular capitalism and progress.

    Like

  25. Tai Coates

    Reblogged this on Tai Coates and commented:
    This article is so important! Girls have the ability to say that they don’t need feminism because feminism has given them the privilege to rarely endure those very things that feminism fights against!

    Like

  26. Catherine

    Thank you for the great read. Spot on! We are all obligated to fight. And tho I don’t find much humor in this topic, sometimes I need it so I don’t go insane! 🙂 https://catherineanned44.wordpress.com/2014/07/31/cats-respond-to-womenagainstfeminism-with-new-blog-confused-cats-against-feminism/

    Like

  27. Catherine

    Reblogged this on Gold Guns Girls and commented:
    Great response to “women against feminism”.

    Like

  28. carst

    I support equality, I’m still not sure where feminism stands but I know I liked this article. Thanks for writing, I’ll be sure to share.

    Like

  29. speakinginvolume

    Wow. I love this. I never looked at feminism this way – I think most people are used to viewing feminism in a stereotypically way; a.ka. burning bras, or refusing to make sandwiches. This puts feminism in a more realistic form, something I think women can relate to and understand. Even those women who are supposedly against feminism can feel the effect and blunt honesty of this article. I think inside every woman is the desire to be simply be herself, but that idea may be misconstrued thanks to what society or men have taught us over the years. I can personally say that I am proud to be a woman and it is my hope that every day I prove to not only myself, but everyone around me that I can want. I hope one day this world truly sees what women have to offer other than their looks and cooking skills. I feel for the women around the world who are not given the freedom and opportunity that I have here in America. I hope these women continue to fight for themselves and the women around them because it was those women who made the difference in the beginning and they are going to be the ones who make a difference in the end as well.

    Like

  30. speakinginvolume

    Reblogged this on Speaking Volumes and commented:
    Feminism is much more than we think.

    Like

  31. Marjie

    Feminism is an incredibly complex subject. There are many different branches of it: postmodern, modernist, liberal and radical. But most of the Women Against Feminism movement don’t know about all those aspects. What they seem most concerned about is:
    1. Feminism which means that women can’t look or act feminine.
    and
    2. Feminism which seeks to place women above men.

    Speaking to the first point: This is a common misconception with the movement. People think that feminists are women who do not shave, wear baggy clothing and are probably lesbians. Although there are feminists who match that description, it is not a requirement to join the movement. Feminists can be male or female, straight or gay, conservative or liberal, wear dresses and heels or jeans and combat boots. All that is required is a belief that men should not have more political, social or economic power than women.

    That brings me to the second point. Many people think that feminists want to subjugate men, think “man hater”. There may be women who have this view, but I can safely say they are not the majority. I see feminism as seeking to make men and women equal politically, economically and socially. A feminist advocates or supports the rights and equality of women. Using that definition, men can be feminists, and so can stay at home moms. All you have to do is believe that men and women are equal.

    Like

  32. WickedCats

    And we here in the Western world HAVE what we have because of feminism. We vote, we have jobs, we drive cars, we make our own money, have our own bank accounts BECAUSE of the women who fought hard so that WE could have that! That was/is feminism. If you don’t need it, then quite your job, close your bank account, sell your car and let your husband or father run your life.

    Like

  33. Peter

    I do not find this to be an appropriate, or an insightful article. Firstly, because the anti-feminist girls were, in the first place, very specifically responding to “modern” feminism. Most of them even used that qualifying word “modern.” I myself believe it to be abundantly clear that these women are talking about modern, western feminism. So referring to the good done in the past by feminists, or the plight of women in socially atavistic nations….in this conversation, none of that is really germane.

    Of course women around the world still need help. Of course women still suffer abuse and marginalization around the world.

    If feminism were purely about rectifying these situations, we would never have seen a group of women motivated to hold up these kinds of anti-feminism signs in the first place. You would not have women feeling like they need to give, as a reason for not being feminist “because I love my husband or “because I love my boyfriend.”

    Modern, western feminism has long ago ceased to be subtle in its constant attempts to characterize women as inherently and inevitably superior to men, or to demonize men and male sexuality. Anyone who would with a straight face tell you that this is not the case, is either a bold liar, or profoundly naive and delusional.

    To be a modern western feminist who goes along with what she is told –which, as a western woman, every feminist gatekeeper and tastemaker and blog runner, female and male, expects from you like a Caesarian tribute, and will attack and exclude you for not doing, make no mistake– you have to be okay with borderline overt hate campaigns like “#YesAllWomen.” If you see people as people, if you’re a humanist with no special regard for gender, you will probably be uncomfortable casting men as the villains in our human drama, and this is something that modern feminists absolutely, unequivocally, obviously, blatantly, enthusiastically, overwhelmingly, rigorously, loudly, energetically, almost universally are doing. They simply are doing it, in plain sight of virtually everyone, and no anecdotes or statistics really matter all that much anymore in the face of it.

    Care for people. Reach your own conclusions. And if you’re a women, don’t let dickhead radical feminists and bloggers and talentless brainwashed “authors,” who are not campaigning for your rights or anyone else’s but only for their own moral and intellectual superiority, pontificate and judge all over you for it. You’re not a gender-traitor because you participated in a counter-movement which is so obviously being led by far more original and compassionate thinkers than the movement itself.

    Like

  34. Star

    Reblogged this on Crazy dog lady's blog.

    Like

  35. axel

    Hey, I’ve done a translation to French of your text as I found it to be a good and concise answer to the whole thing.

    Would you like to publish it? Are you ok with it being published elsewhere?

    Also, given other people are already reblogging this and I suppose you want your text to circulate, I would imagine you are ok with it being reproduced. But my imagination is not worth your actual word, so could you clarify if this text is under any given licence rather than plain copyright?
    If you were to pick one, Creative Commons By-SA (possibly NC if you want) would be great 🙂 I’d licence the translation under the same conditions.

    Cheers and thanks for taking the time to write this 🙂

    axel

    Like

    1. iwantedwings

      Hello!

      Thanks for the comment and for reading my post. It means a lot that people have responded to it in the way that they have.

      I would love a French translation to be published. I firmly believe in the cause I write about, and would love for it to reach non-English speakers to spark further debate on the subject. So I give you permission to translate and republish it elsewhere, as long as you of course credit me and the source of the original post in English.

      Let me know where you intend to republish it as well – just out of interest!

      Thank you,

      Hannah

      Like

  36. Tran

    This was a lovely and emotionally provoking piece – and definitely a different type of argument for feminism. While I myself am a woman who has had many opportunities (especially for being a first generation immigrant) because I live in the United States, I still understand that there is sexism and unequality in the world and in the US. I believe in equality, but I don’t believe in feminism tactics to demean men, to ridicule and bash on ‘male power’ and men’s institutional power that women inherently lack. If we inherently lack it then how will we ever have it?

    To argue that EVERY male action and EVERY feeling of insecurity shown by women is more evidence for feminism is foolish. Maybe being scared while walking alone at night is more because I’m afraid of general safety and crime – not because I am specifically afraid of a man. Women can definitely rob and beat too. Some people forget that the Hobby Lobby case, which is now used to flame many fires, was a religious case started by the owners – both the husband and wife. Maybe there aren’t a lot of women in high-profile positions because they don’t want to be there. Women have a choice and maybe some women just don’t want to work 70 hours a week. I work in the sciences and there’s constant talk of how there is a lack of female students in the physics programs, but so many in biology, and so we need to admit more female students. But when you look at the numbers there aren’t many women who apply to physics in the first place and we end up letting in underqualified girls because we just wanted more women. Maybe a dad beating his child or wife is due to mental illness and instability, or an inability to control rage and not because he had an intention to ‘put the woman in her place’. I’m not saying that in some countries beatings don’t happen because of power and a feeling of superiority over women, because they do and in the US too, but that we suddenly make this the ONLY reason why a man would beat a woman. I’m not saying men do not do bad things to women historically and currently, but that its much more complex than just ‘it’s a man’s world’.

    How about when a man beats another man? How do we interpret that? Or when a woman sadistically beats and tortures her children and husband? We seem to ignore that equality means we take the good and the bad. Feminism tends to portray women as these strong, independent, self-reliant shining beams of humanity. We make the right choices and stick to our morals. And somehow we ignore that women can and do the same things men do that women hate so much – rape, go to strip clubs, cheat on significant others, or demean the opposite sex. I have known my fair share of men and women who agree for equality and those that harm the opposite sex. So that is why I struggle for gender equality and not just for feminism.

    Like

  37. What can YOU do for feminism? | Cravings of the Mind

    […] I Wanted Wings, a blog by a woman (I can’t find her name) recently published a piece in response to all of this negative energy and media around Women Against Feminism. In it, she explains that we are speaking from a place of privilege to be able to say that we don’t need feminism. We wake up in a world where, especially if we are white and middle-class, we, as women, pretty much have as fair of an opportunity to succeed in this world as our male compatriots. Then, she gives anecdotes of three other young women in different countries who don’t even have a whisper of the same privilege we have in terms of safety, opportunity, education, and longevity. […]

    Like

  38. robinobishop

    The radical feminist criticism of the family as an institution of repression for women and the call for its replacement find little support among Mormons. One can be feminist without the need for destruction. Certainly individual families may be repressive and dysfunctional as solitary men and women may be; most Latter-day Saints believe that the defect is not inherent in the structure. Indeed, the family is viewed as the source of both men’s and women’s greatest work and joy, not only on earth but also in eternity. Female sufficiency apart from men and male from female is insufficient living.

    Like

  39. Feminism | Natalya's Thoughts

    […] response to a comment written about this […]

    Like

  40. robinobishop

    The Pakistani woman my not experience the freedoms of Western women in even the distant future. Nothing you accomplish domestically will provide them solace. Maybe its time to nation-build again. 🙂

    Like

  41. Rosie Marshall

    I was born in 1959 to a schoolmaster Father and stay-at-home Mum. I am No 2 child, eldest daughter in a family of 3 girls and 3 boys. I am partially-sighted. My Father grudgingly let me apply to Oxford University, while joking that I would be the spinster daughter who would end up looking after her parents into their old age. I did go to Lady Margaret Hall, and there I read Virginia Woolf: A woman must have money and a room of her own. Meaning all women cannot have true independence of spirit unless we have both these things. Money and a den, gotta have them. But that goes equally for men. Save that men seem to feel entitlement to both more easily than women do, and, until we women really believe in our hearts that we are so entitled, mens’s psychological dominance will not change. We do flap on about being the weaker vessel, but let’s not forget, in the courtship game, we choose, and the men we discard can only wring their hands(!). Unless they want to thump us, which does occasionally happen – though frankly some women’s behaviour is so frightful, I reckon they are asking to be thumped… Yes of course we need Feminism, but we women need to work a bit more on making ourselves worthy of respect. If we break down into tears at the least bit of robust confrontation, or if we wail ‘Maaaaan!’ at the slightest practical difficulty, it’s no wonder men dominate.

    ‘Only the very safe can talk about wrong or right. Of those who are forced to choose, some will choose to fight’.

    Like

  42. N

    You do not get to exploit the suffering of other women on the other end of the world to further your agenda.

    You cannot point to a woman being raped somewhere else as proof of a ‘global patriarchy’ that also oppresses you when a man catcalls. Feminism demonizes male sexuality so that a man catcalling in the West is just a lower rung where rape is at the top of the ladder.

    I spent half my life in a third-world country. Men go through shit too, different shit but no worse. Feminists and traditionalists both put women first when it comes to protection, so hundreds of men killed in a conflict and we’re so used to it, but the media will report how many women (and children) affected.

    Like

  43. Check this out: A Response to ‘Women Against Feminism.’ | naïve to cultured

    […] A Response to ‘Women Against Feminism.’ | iwantedwings. […]

    Like

  44. artmoscow

    Most of cases are the unavoidable consequences of the Islamic view of the world…

    Like

  45. Dominic

    Ok so, I totally agree with some of the points raised and I’m a strong Egalitarian with hope that there will be equality and cohesion of men and women in every country in the world. I do however have some issues with references to the medieval witch craze which you mention briefly in your argument. To present it as a anti-feminist movement; or to give some indication that it was a period of time in which women were hunted due to their biological gender, is historically inaccurate. I have studied History for 7 years now, and would just like to point out that there is much more to this period of History than you mention. I think for you to summarise 500 years of European culture as “women-hunting” or anti-feminism, as i’m sure you were hinting at, is just plain ridiculous as it was nothing of the sort. In areas of Russia and central Europe more Men were killed for being witches than women and it was nothing to do with being female, it was a religious battle between the Catholics and the Protestants (predominantly) in which the whole of Europe truly felt they were at the gates of Rapture and Judgement Day. There is so much more to this subject, that I cannot explain now, and your tiny reference to this whole historical period alienated my opinion of this argument.

    Also, the reason i don’t consider myself a feminist is that it has negative connotations attached to it. I read reams and reams of western feminists arguing about women’s rights in OTHER countries, but where is the action to go with their words? If Western feminists feel so obligated to talk about this then… ACT. The inaction and whiny tone of feminists is exactly why i do not consider myself one.

    Overall you have a strong argument which i agree with completely, but I would leave the part about European Witch Hunting out of it, to avoid criticism. Unless, of course, you do your research properly.

    Like

  46. noneed

    the problems you take up on being a women has pretty much nothing to do with femenism thats just their culture and heritage thats fucked up.
    and yes im against femenism, well not not against the idea behind it but more against the femenists.

    Like

  47. hifromhager

    Fantastic!

    Like

  48. pj

    A woman who is against feminism must not need birth control, or care if she has property rights, or legal rights, or if her husband can rape her legally, or if she gets paid less than a man, etc. etc. etc. Sexism (which isn’t just a women’s issue) is still very much alive. You only have to read comment sections on certain types of articles to see the deep fear and hatred many men have of women. Violence against women, including in the US, is a worldwide epidemic. We cannot be free to be in a world like this.

    Like

  49. pj

    Tristan, what exactly are you talking about when you say “aggressive feminism?” That makes me think of Ann Coulter, and I’m pretty sure that she is the opposite of a feminist. I have to wonder how men and apparently some women can feel so threatened by the idea of equality when men have basically ruled the world completely for eons. If women were seeking to do the same, I could understand the fear. but that is not the case.

    Like

  50. missy123

    Why the hell do you have to be a “white” westernised woman? There are many different races of whom are westernised. I agree with everything else you are saying but you do not need to spread it like white people aren’t bloody aware – christ almighty.

    Like